Spouse Market

Thanks to the government enforced one-child policy and the traditional preference for boys, China now has an awful lot of young bachelors who just cannot find a bride. Today I read an article in WSJ about a village boy who finally found the perfect wife. His family helped him to pay the dowry or 'cai li', which can be many years worth of farmer's income. This girl wanted 38,000 yuan (about 3,800 GBP) for cai li before she would accept his marriage proposal. Less than two weeks later, the new bride had vanished, leaving behind everything except the money. Apparently, this 'runway bride' scam has recently become more common in China. It counts as fraud, so the women will spend time in jail if caught.

I have noticed that Chinese parents really put heavy pressure on their kids to get married. My friend Nancy is my age, 26, and got married last year to a soldier. She used to say that she wasn't sure about marriage, and even talked about starting a career in Shanghai. But her parents were strong-willed and kept badgering her until finally she gave in and found a husband. Although she seems happy now, previously this year she told me she'd already considered divorce, because some of her husband's opinions and habits were completely out of sync with her own, and she felt she couldn't tolerate the differences. Nancy is an English/Mandarin teacher and speaks excellent English. Her husband's family, dislike non-Chinese people, and her husband hates the Japanese (although this is certainly not uncommon). I believe that living within this small-minded attitude is sometimes challenging for Nancy, with her open nature and multi-cultural social circle. Divorce, although a quick and easy process in Chinese society, still carries stigma. This is especially so for divorced women, who may find it harder to remarry in future.

On Sunday morning in Labour Park, I stumbled across an interesting event which I'd often heard about but never seen. I call it 'Spouse Market'. A large group of people had gathered in the park and were crowding around some pieces of paper pinned to trees and displayed on the pavement. Taking a closer look, this is an example of what I saw:
男士 (male)
1981年11月出生 (date of birth)
身高：180 (height)
东北财经大学学生 (occupation: Dongbei University student)
专业：会计 (subject: accounting)
想找女士 (would like to find a girl)
22-26岁 (22-26 years old)
身高：170一下 (no taller than 170cm)
聪明，漂亮。(clever, attractive)
电话：87909568 (phone number)

These are advertisements made by parents to help their child find a husband/wife. The example above is made up, but it's a fair sample of what is included. Some ads stated work and salary details, even the desired salary level of the potential spouse. The area was crowded with people, mainly older folk, but I spotted a few young guys copying down telephone numbers from the ads. I suppose this system works, like a combination of arranged marriage and internet dating.