Getting Naked in Public

Today Dalian has become beautiful, 12 degrees C and sunny. My balcony door is wide open and the fresh breeze flits in and out. Outside, grass mowers whirr, providing a strangely peaceful background noise reminiscent of typical English summers. For a polluted Chinese city, the Dalian sky is frequently bright blue. The air feels clean, although the continual need to clear my throat suggests otherwise...

With spring finally on its way, Dalian is a pleasant place to be. The long cold winters with the fierce wind are always hard work, but now we can look forward to summer - hopefully it'll be a good one. Dalian's beaches are quite famous in China, much better than the last Chinese 'famous beach' I visited. That one was down south, in Zhuhai, and it was a dirty, crowded and unpleasant place. People were swarming (as they do everywhere in China) and the sand was laced with litter. As for the water, I took one glance and wasn't brave enough to venture near it.

Recently I've been bullying myself to make regular gym visits and the effort is paying off (i.e. I'm shattered every night and sleep like a baby). The real aim, of course, is to get in shape for summer's bikini-posing. A typical workout routine consists of the following: I get on the cross-trainer and run like a nutter for 45 minutes on the highest setting I can handle. Then, dripping sweat and with legs like jelly, I stagger off and head for the weights. After a round of these, plus situps, I am totally finished. I head back to the changing rooms avoiding the naked Chinese ladies, and try and locate my locker. This usually has a naked Chinese lady blocking access to the door. I don't involve myself in public nudity, but am gradually getting used to situations with other people that do. Am still not brave enough for communal showering though!

Talking of forced public nudity, a story springs to mind. Last year a close female friend and I went to the sauna together. It was a hilarious experience...The first surprise was that we were expected to get naked in front of everyone, including each other! Now this girl is a good friend of mine, but at the time I had only known her for a month. Even if I'd known her all my life, I would not wish to remove all my clothes and walk around in front of her. It's weird... Also the Chinese staring does not improve matters for me.

My friend had been here before and was used to it. She had no problems with anything and happily jumped into the upright sauna machine, leaving just her head sticking out. It looked very strange and extremely amusing, like a mad scientist in a cryogenic freeze, or a creature with human head but no body. It got even more amusing when one of the staff started feeding my friend green tea through a straw. We became hysterical with laughter and I think the staff were rather mystified. Maybe it was one of those jokes where you just had to be there.

I was still fully clothed at this point and staff kept pressing me to get 'em off and get in the shower. I finally informed one of them, in Chinese, that I was a bit too shy and wanted to undress in private. Of course I got my way. The masseuse was very good, really sorting out the many tense bad spots. It hurt a lot. She kept up a steady stream of chatter in Chinese, which was difficult to answer while your face is pressed into a hole. I felt the massage had made a significant difference, which unfortunately cannot be said for many other massage 'experiences' in China.