Civet Coffee and Chinese CVs,

Do you know which coffee is the world's most expensive? I bet you couldn't guess where it comes from...I love coffee, so I was intrigued to discover that this prime brew comes out of a cat's arse. Yes, literally. The Kopi Luwak coffee is made from coffee beans, which is nothing unusual. But the difference is that these beans pass through the digestive tract of a civet cat before being excreted onto the ground for easy collection by coffee farmers. This mainly happens in Sumatra and surrounding areas (wherever civet cats and coffee beans are in close proximity). The coffee is made by separating the beans from the rest of the dung, washing them thoroughly (whew!) then processing them like normal coffee beans. The taste of Kopi Luwak has been described variously as 'gamey', 'rich, strong and full-bodied', 'syrupy with a hint of chocolate' and 'like crap'.
So how much does a cup of this stuff cost? In London's Sloane Square, a snooty coffee shop sells Kopi Lumak for 50 pounds a cup. Various online stockists also sell it and it seems to be surprisingly popular in its coffee-snob niche market. I'd be keen to try it, but 50 pounds a cup of anything would make me cringe. If I ever get to Indonesia, I'll go hunt me some civet cats.

After wasting a lot of valuable time Googling 'crap' coffee, I got myself sufficiently motivated to finish the day's main task - translating my CV into Chinese. This was a challenging job and took me at least two hours to complete. But the end result is definitely worth it, it will certainly impress Chinese employers and what's more - it looks really, really cool. ;-) I'm quite proud of myself (although www.nciku.com did get surfed now and then...) I've got a job interview at Dalian Software Park this week. I'll have to learn the CV by heart or make myself a pinyin crib sheet for some of the new words, hehe.

I'm making plans for a return to the UK this autumn. The postgrad education idea is still firmly lodged in my mind and there are some great courses on offer. My question to myself is: would it be better to study a practical subject (MSc in International Management,Business Administration or Programme and Project Management), or go for the MA in Modern Chinese Studies at Oxford University? I think that my China experience can get me onto the Oxford course, how cool to study at Oxford! But in reality, the practical applications of an MA in Modern Chinese Studies might not be so apparent to a prospective employer, what's more, am I sufficiently fascinated by China to spend even more of my time studying it? Recently it has begun to annoy me in a whole bunch of ways. Realistically, it's time to get serious and choose a degree subject that is directly related to career. Career, Career, Career. I don't want to make the same mistake I made when picking my undergrad degree:

Dad: "You should really study business/management/computing/engineering."
Daughter: "But Sociology really interests me and it will give me good career prospects, honest!"

The future's looking colourful.

你最大的恐惧是什么？

我今天下午要给英语学生表述这个话题：恐惧。我有一个小时表述的时间我先要给他们看一看两部恐怖电影小片段。看完了以后我们会一起讨论电影的内容。今天最重要的话题是害怕和恐惧。我们为什么有害怕和恐惧？恐惧是不是一种神经病？我们怎么可以因应害怕恐惧？我认为我们可以用很多不同的方法因应我们的害怕。我已经看了几个网站关于这个话题。它们的忠告都有一样的重点：它们说为了我们因应害怕我们必须碰硬害怕。这是最有效的方法。

我表述做完以后我要在这上写多一点。

Foul Moods and Temperaments

Boooom! In China, my moods are on a roller-coaster. A big old rickety made-in-China roller-coaster, which the slightest tremor can set off rolling in the wrong direction - generally downhill. These days the moods seem to have gotten worse, maybe a signal that it's time to leave this place for pastures new. Things that are guaranteed to piss me off include any combination of the following: Chinese drivers' selfish and blatant disregard for other road users, people spitting, smoking in any enclosed space, hearing the word 'laowai', shop assistants who will NOT leave me alone, queue-jumping and barging, seeing herds of LBH everywhere, locals staring, people indicating numbers by holding up their fingers, incessant gusts of strong wind, counter-intuitive elevators, and finally, travelling on the light rail between Dalian and Kaifaqu. Do I sound seriously moody and bitchy today? That's because I AM. Grrrr!

处于补丁状态 or Banished to the Cold Palace

这个月是我在大连的末期。我需要在一个月内节省尽可能多地钱。为了这样做，我需要教英语（我最不喜欢的工作）。我可以用这个基金帮助我做有些重要的关于工作和生活的决定。
就是很惊人，虽然经济危机的时候尽管如此在中国还很容易找到教英文的工作。

我不太喜欢处于补丁状态 。太不确定了！

LBH Power Tripping

Ah, the famous LBHs. They can be found just about everywhere in China, especially if that place is home to lots of young, willing local girls with visual impairment. For those not in the know, LBH stands for "Loser Back Home" and is used to refer to rather unpleasant Western men who, having trouble getting laid back home, come to Asia to behave like kings and have young women falling at their feet.

Urbandictionary.com defines the term as follows:

-Short for "Loser Back Home". -Refers to expatriates (Usually hailing from North America or Europe) with low standards who create a completely different persona in their new country to cover for the fact that they are seen as complete douchebags back home. -The LBH are increasing in number in many Asian countries, specifically Japan and China. -They usually prey on Asian girls with low self esteem to compensate for never getting laid back in their home countries. Native: "Look at that LBH, trying to take all of our women..." Expat with sense: "I'm ashamed for all Westerners..."

LHT: a new phrase has been just coined. LHT = "Loser Here Too" Thank you Andrew for amazing literary input.

Check out this post for a second opinion, it's pretty straight to the point...
http://chinadirt.blogspot.com/2007/01/lbh-loser-back-home.html

"How to Avoid Flirting" - some advice from ehow.com

Maybe there's someone you know likes you, and you don't want to give the wrong impression that the feeling's mutual. Or maybe you're in a relationship and don't want it to look like you're thinking of cheating. For whatever reason, sometimes you'll need to avoid flirtatious behavior -- here's how to do it.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Step 1: Share your problems with this person, moan, and sulk about things. When you flirt, you are supposed to be positive and smile.
Step 2: If this person starts to flirt, block it. Ignore him or her, or just give back no signals.
Step 3: Don't look the person in the eye. Concentrate on something else while you talk to him or her, and if you do look at the person, don't hold the gaze, but don't look nervous or scared either.
Step 4: Motion a friend to come over. If a friend senses your discomfort, they'll often intervene.
Step 5: Leave. Politely tell them that you have somewhere else to get to or someone else you need to talk to.
Step 6: Talk about how great your significant other is.

By anastasiastarz from www.ehow.com

Getting Naked in Public

Today Dalian has become beautiful, 12 degrees C and sunny. My balcony door is wide open and the fresh breeze flits in and out. Outside, grass mowers whirr, providing a strangely peaceful background noise reminiscent of typical English summers. For a polluted Chinese city, the Dalian sky is frequently bright blue. The air feels clean, although the continual need to clear my throat suggests otherwise...

With spring finally on its way, Dalian is a pleasant place to be. The long cold winters with the fierce wind are always hard work, but now we can look forward to summer - hopefully it'll be a good one. Dalian's beaches are quite famous in China, much better than the last Chinese 'famous beach' I visited. That one was down south, in Zhuhai, and it was a dirty, crowded and unpleasant place. People were swarming (as they do everywhere in China) and the sand was laced with litter. As for the water, I took one glance and wasn't brave enough to venture near it.

Recently I've been bullying myself to make regular gym visits and the effort is paying off (i.e. I'm shattered every night and sleep like a baby). The real aim, of course, is to get in shape for summer's bikini-posing. A typical workout routine consists of the following: I get on the cross-trainer and run like a nutter for 45 minutes on the highest setting I can handle. Then, dripping sweat and with legs like jelly, I stagger off and head for the weights. After a round of these, plus situps, I am totally finished. I head back to the changing rooms avoiding the naked Chinese ladies, and try and locate my locker. This usually has a naked Chinese lady blocking access to the door. I don't involve myself in public nudity, but am gradually getting used to situations with other people that do. Am still not brave enough for communal showering though!

Talking of forced public nudity, a story springs to mind. Last year a close female friend and I went to the sauna together. It was a hilarious experience...The first surprise was that we were expected to get naked in front of everyone, including each other! Now this girl is a good friend of mine, but at the time I had only known her for a month. Even if I'd known her all my life, I would not wish to remove all my clothes and walk around in front of her. It's weird... Also the Chinese staring does not improve matters for me.

My friend had been here before and was used to it. She had no problems with anything and happily jumped into the upright sauna machine, leaving just her head sticking out. It looked very strange and extremely amusing, like a mad scientist in a cryogenic freeze, or a creature with human head but no body. It got even more amusing when one of the staff started feeding my friend green tea through a straw. We became hysterical with laughter and I think the staff were rather mystified. Maybe it was one of those jokes where you just had to be there.

I was still fully clothed at this point and staff kept pressing me to get 'em off and get in the shower. I finally informed one of them, in Chinese, that I was a bit too shy and wanted to undress in private. Of course I got my way. The masseuse was very good, really sorting out the many tense bad spots. It hurt a lot. She kept up a steady stream of chatter in Chinese, which was difficult to answer while your face is pressed into a hole. I felt the massage had made a significant difference, which unfortunately cannot be said for many other massage 'experiences' in China.